Todd Tucker's Heartbreak Is Proof the Grass Isn't Greener

“My relationship was dope. My ex is amazing. Unfortunately, it just didn’t work…She’s mine till death do us part.” These are the recent words from Kandi Burruss’ ex-husband, Todd Tucker, in an interview promoting his upcoming controversial online series Til’ Divorce Do Us Part. The series is set to tell his side of the story of how and why his 11-year marriage to Kandi ended.

The general public has been on Kandi’s side, with many believing her Aunt Bertha’s infamous “scheme that Todd set up” line has come to fruition. After Todd’s interview, it’s obvious he wishes he’d done some things differently in their marriage and hoped for a better outcome. It’s also clear from the trailer of his project that he never anticipated Kandi would leave, and that he took her for granted. 

Considering their journey has played out on television, it’s possible from certain things we saw that not everything is Todd’s fault. However, he may have been his own worst enemy in the marriage, leading to him now being divorced and lonely. 

The desire to prove himself publicly

From the start, Todd has combated the notion that he was with Kandi for her money. As Mama Joyce put it, she raised her daughter to be a millionaire, and she went and married a hundrednaire. Kandi didn’t see it that way. She saw his financial stability, though it was less in dollars than hers, and his potential to earn more with her by his side. And together, they did that. Still, Todd couldn’t get beyond public perception. He was Kandi’s husband, and in her shadow.

In his interview with V103, he admitted his biggest mistake was not maintaining his own identity. He said he poured so much into Kandi’s brand, working alongside her team and within her inner circle, that he let his own dreams die. Maybe some of that had to do with him needing to prove he was worth the upgrade. 

Still, many believe Kandi can’t be to blame, and Todd seemingly got complacent. From the moment he and Kandi became an item, it was all about the “we.” Kandi made it clear that she didn’t like it when he worked as an employee or contractor elsewhere on shows; instead, she preferred that he utilize his skill set and produce his own work or collective projects. Thus, the Burruss-Tucker productions began. Between stage plays, restaurants, Broadway productions, and other ventures, they were a machine. But looking back, Todd has a major regret.

It’s unfortunate that most men, seemingly Todd included, allowed their egos to be bruised by people’s opinions. Men of financial means help put their partners in better positions to succeed all the time. But when it’s flipped, the chances of the union lasting are slim. It’s the way men and women are conditioned. Kandi did work a ton and continued to take on multiple projects, solidifying herself as a mogul. However, she was always on track to do so. When they met, she was a boss. Her star continued to rise, and some of it was with his help. That wasn’t satisfying enough for him. At some point, he may have grown to resent her and try to compete with her, rather than work alongside her. 

Throughout several seasons during their time on RHOA, Kandi expressed disappointment whenever Todd wanted to take a job in production versus taking the entrepreneurial route and doing his own thing. He didn’t have to take her advice on everything, and ultimately the decision was his. It may be unfair to spread blame around for what went wrong in his career trajectory, when she provided him plenty of opportunities across varying businesses to succeed. 

When opening their relationship went wrong (allegedly)

Aside from having a wife who was all about partnership, she also didn’t mind sharing in the bedroom…literally. Openly sex positive and happily fluid, Kandi has been the poster child for kinky dialogue and activity. It’s no secret that the two had threesomes throughout their marriage. How many? We don’t know. But Kandi has spoken about it on her Kandi Koated Nights platform, and recently added his two cents when speaking with V103. But what happens when the arrangement goes beyond what they agreed upon? Divorce.

According to Kandi’s I Do. I Did. I’m Done one-woman show, Todd took their shared sexcapades and had his own fun on the side, which was a no-no. In the trailer for his upcoming project, he says nothing sexual happened in the specific situation referenced. In a separate clip, he screams that he cried for help and attention in his marriage that he didn’t get, which contributed to the marital breakdown. Whatever the case may be, Kandi was damned if she did or not. Because even having fame, fortune, and threesomes wasn’t enough to keep her husband satisfied. 

Mama Joyce and the Kandi Koated Klique

One thing cannot be denied is that Todd endured a lot of disrespect in his marriage. Her mother’s disapproval is well documented; her friends and business partners side-eyed him and undermined his leadership in a business capacity when he and Kandi merged corporations; and he was collateral damage in arguments between her and her RHOA co-stars, and many viewers saw her as his come-up. It was a lot to handle over more than a decade. And to his credit, he rarely, if ever (at least publicly), fired back. He should get a place in heaven solely based on the way he had to navigate Mama Joyce, with no help or interference from his wife.

Despite some of Mama Joyce’s predictions being proven right, the way she treated Todd was rotten. No one should have to suffer through that in the name of love, or for any matter. And as the years went on, Kandi seemed more disengaged from trying to make it better. Todd suggested therapy, and she declined. Todd suggested she confront her mother, and she shielded away from difficult conversations in favor of taking breaks in communication with her mother until things “cooled” down. None of it worked. Mama Joyce’s audacity grew as years went on, because it was allowed. 

Without having his own mother to turn to, or siblings, it was Kandi’s job to protect Todd from her mother’s antics, and she didn’t do her best at that. One can assume that Todd’s bitterness at certain points, or his emotional distance toward the end of the relationship, could have been a result of years of built-up frustration from the family estrangement. It’s a lesson that both Todd and Kandi can learn from and apply moving forward in their respective romantic lives if they want a lasting relationship - keep the family out of it and create firm boundaries. 

Todd is clearly hurt. It’s actually refreshing from what we first saw in the immediate aftermath of the split. At first, he was partying and playing social media games. Now, he’s speaking his vulnerable truth. It’s not pretty, but it’s his truth. What is real through this is that he misses his wife and family, he hasn’t healed fully or moved on, and he knows that he lost a good one. Say what you want about Kandi, but with the exception of not drawing the line with her mom and co., she held Todd down. That type of love and loyalty doesn’t come around often. Todd is realizing that watering your own grass is probably the best option in the long run.