The Value of Us, Reclaiming The Power Of Relationships In A Culture Of Disconnection

Somewhere between the algorithms, the echo chambers, and the performance of modern “softness,” relationships became unpopular. Not love itself—but the practice of it. The discipline. The commitment. The vulnerability of choosing someone. In a world where going viral is currency, togetherness has quietly been pushed to the margins.

A recent Vogue headline claimed it was “embarrassing” to have a boyfriend. Scroll any feed long enough and you’ll notice that the content that rises to the top isn’t about reciprocity, emotional growth, or healthy love. It’s the complaints, the rants, the cautionary tales. And what gets glamorized most is the performance of detachment: dragging the opposite sex, turning hurt into humor, making disappointment the discourse of the day.

What rarely trends? Unconditional friendships. Quiet loyalty. Healthy relationships. Emotional maturity. The beauty of partnership. And when it does appear, it’s treated as an adorable anomaly—something rare and sweet, not a cultural norm.

I’ve noticed—and maybe you have too—that we’ve unintentionally built a lopsided value system. We uplift our sisterhoods (as we should), yet we treat romantic partnerships with cynicism or outright dismissal. I believe deeply in female friendship; those bonds are sacred. But honoring friendships is not the same as using them to avoid the intimacy, accountability, and emotional stretching that only a romantic relationship can evoke.

Today’s culture is focused far more on why not to choose love than why we should be open to it at all. And that imbalance is costing us.

THE SCARCITY MINDSET DISGUISED AS “STANDARDS”

Many of us are operating from scarcity and calling it self-protection. We fixate on flaws, search for red flags, and expect disappointment before we’ve even allowed possibility. Dating has started to resemble a job interview crossed with a trauma response—we gather reasons to walk away before giving ourselves a reason to stay.

But beneath the hashtags and hot takes, a simple truth remains: healthy relationships make us better. Not perfect ones. Not “aesthetic” ones. Real ones—the kind that require honesty, invite softening, and stretch us into more grounded versions of ourselves.

There’s data showing that people—especially men—tend to thrive in stable love: better health, better finances, better emotional outcomes. But let me speak personally.

As a woman who has spent nearly equal parts of my adult life married and single, I can say this confidently: my energy is different when I’m in a loving, healthy relationship. My ambition doesn’t change—I’m driven with or without a partner—but partnership gives me something success alone never has: balance.

I’ve hit career highs in my single seasons. But I was also deeply imbalanced, pouring everything into work and leaving little for myself. Like many Alpha Females, my career became my relationship—what I nurtured, protected, and hid inside of.

But in the seasons where I’ve experienced real partnership—twice in my life—something in me settled. I felt supported, grounded, seen. Not dependent, but reflected. A good partner becomes a mirror, softening the places the world has hardened. Even when they can’t help with the work itself, their presence shifts the emotional load. A teammate, even one cheering from the sidelines, changes everything.

JOY MULTIPLIES WHEN SHARED

Joy is an inside job—I stand on that. But partnership magnifies joy the same way trauma magnifies pain. The right person doesn’t create your joy; they reflect it, sustain it, multiply it.

A joyful person with a joyful partner becomes a force. A well-balanced woman with a supportive partner becomes exponentially more powerful. And someone who is prioritized in love tends to prioritize themselves differently.

This is why I often invite women who lead, build, and create to examine their relationship with ambition. In my book Dear Alpha Female, It’s Not Him, It’s You, I talk about how career-driven women can become consumed by achievement when they lack emotional partnership. Many don’t realize how imbalanced they are until they experience healthy love.

WHAT I HOPE WE REMEMBER GOING INTO 2025

As this year ends, I’m reflecting on my fifth year of marriage, my thirtieth year of motherhood, and the many seasons of love that have shaped me.

Here’s what I know for sure:

Relationships we prioritize—relationships built on unconditional love—make us better. They help us live fuller lives. They offer joy no algorithm can measure but the soul can feel. They are worth choosing.

So as you reflect on your year, challenge the narratives urging you to fear love, avoid connection, or stay guarded. What if you looked for the reasons love could work? What if 2025 became the year you opened yourself—not to perfection, but to partnership?

Because there is nothing embarrassing about wanting, choosing, or valuing love.

Nothing embarrassing about being loved well.

And absolutely nothing embarrassing about believing in “us.”