Yes, Your WAP Can Survive Menopause

Let’s talk about the menopause symptom nobody warns you about…until you’re Googling it at 2 a.m.

Nobody prepares you for perimenopause. One day you’re minding your business, sleeping like a baby, and feeling completely like yourself. The next thing you know you’re standing in front of the refrigerator at two o’clock in the morning, sweating through your pajamas, wondering why your brain suddenly has the memory of a goldfish. Before long, you’re Googling everything from hot flashes to hormone replacement therapy to whether menopause really can affect your sex life. We’ve finally reached a place where women are willing to laugh about hot flashes, compare notes about hormones, and openly admit that menopause is not for the weak. I absolutely love that for us because there is something incredibly freeing about realizing you’re not the only woman wondering what in the world is happening to your body.

What we still don’t talk about nearly enough is what happens in the bedroom. Let’s be honest, there is no glamorous way to hear phrases like “vaginal dryness” or, Lord have mercy, “vaginal atrophy.” Whoever came up with that term clearly wasn’t concerned about women’s self-esteem. You read those words and immediately start wondering if your body has decided to retire before you have. Suddenly you’re questioning whether intimacy is going to change forever, whether your husband is going to notice, and whether you’re the only woman secretly Googling things you never imagined you’d type into a search bar. The funny thing is, millions of women are doing exactly the same thing, but somehow we’re all convinced we’re the only ones.

I got married just before perimenopause decided to make its grand entrance, so naturally I started researching everything. If you’ve ever gone down the internet rabbit hole looking up menopause symptoms, you know it’s about as calming as diagnosing yourself on WebMD. Five minutes into your search you’re convinced every ache is permanent, every symptom is inevitable, and romance is headed for the witness protection program. As someone who genuinely enjoys being married and who wants to keep that part of our relationship healthy, I wasn’t interested in accepting that intimacy simply had to become uncomfortable because my hormones were changing.

Then I received an email introducing me to Überlube, and I’ll admit my first reaction was somewhere between curiosity and skepticism. I had never really considered using a personal lubricant because, in my mind, if it didn’t feel like me, I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want anything sticky, messy, scented, or obvious. I certainly didn’t want something that would make me feel like I needed an instruction manual just to have sex with my own husband. If I was going to try something, it had to be discreet, natural, and feel like my body on its very best day.

To my surprise, that’s exactly what happened. Überlube doesn’t feel artificial. It doesn’t announce itself. It simply recreates what your body naturally feels like when everything is working exactly the way you wish it still did. There isn’t an awkward moment where you’re suddenly aware that you’re using a product. Instead, there’s this wonderful feeling of confidence because everything feels comfortable, smooth, and effortless. The best compliment I can give it is that it completely disappears into the experience. That’s exactly what I wanted. I wasn’t looking for something to change intimacy. I was looking for something that would allow intimacy to feel like us again.

One thing I want to say, because it’s important, is that my husband has never once made me feel anything less than beautiful. Not once. The pressure I felt wasn’t coming from him. It was coming from me. Like so many women, I was putting unrealistic expectations on my own body because I remembered what it used to do without a second thought. My husband has always made me feel desired, loved, and attractive. But confidence is an inside job. When you don’t feel like yourself, it can affect how you show up in every part of your relationship. That’s why finding something that helped me feel like myself again wasn’t really about him at all. It was about me walking back into the bedroom feeling confident instead of self-conscious.

I'm happy to let our little sisters Cardi B and  Megan Thee Stallion know they don’t have to rewrite the lyrics when they hit fifty. The WAP can absolutely survive perimenopause and menopause. She may need a little support every now and then, but baby…she’s still showing up for work. 

We don’t think twice about wearing reading glasses when our eyesight changes, coloring our hair when the gray starts winning, or moisturizing our skin a little more faithfully than we did at thirty. Why should we feel embarrassed about giving another part of our body the same care and attention? Growing older isn’t about giving up pleasure. It’s about learning how to keep enjoying it, even as your body writes a new chapter.

One thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that women are incredibly hard on ourselves. We expect our bodies to perform exactly the way they did at twenty-five while simultaneously juggling careers, marriages, children, aging parents, stress, and about a hundred other responsibilities. Our bodies deserve a little grace. If a simple, beautifully designed bottle sitting quietly on your nightstand helps remove anxiety from one of the most important parts of your relationship, I don’t see that as cheating. I see it as being practical. Frankly, I’ve earned practical.

For me, Überlube has become one of those unexpected discoveries that quietly gave me something back. Yes, it made intimacy more comfortable, but more importantly, it restored my confidence. It allowed me to stop worrying about whether my body was cooperating and simply enjoy being present with the man I love. That’s a gift far greater than lubrication. It’s peace of mind, and every woman deserves that.

Menopause may change your hormones, but it doesn’t have to change your confidence. Getting older isn’t about pretending nothing has changed. It’s about discovering what still works. So if you’re awake at two o’clock in the morning Googling symptoms nobody prepared you for, let this be one less thing to worry about. There are solutions. There are products that work. There is absolutely no shame in taking care of yourself. And thanks to a little bottle sitting quietly on my nightstand, I’m happy to report that menopause didn’t win. My WAP is still showing up for work.